I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
