as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
