I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
