I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
that is very illegal...i love you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
