the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
