Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
