I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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