he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
