He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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