I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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