so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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