He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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