but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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