nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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