he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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