I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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