do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
