Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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