too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
