ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
