What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
birth control should be required to get into college
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
