He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
