so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize