so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
