It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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