Pappa wants mamma naked
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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