Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
