Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
