whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
