I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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