So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
