his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
