It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
