Dude my mom stole all your condoms
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize