i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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