I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
