She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am one with the molecules
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
