He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
