everyone is single if you try hard enough
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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