I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
