**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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