We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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