You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
