Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
