Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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