Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
