just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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