I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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