come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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