he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i out mim tonsoeep
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
