The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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