if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Are these your boobs on my camera?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize