i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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