How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
