Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
