I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize