I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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