Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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