I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
