I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
