used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
