is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need to calm my uterus...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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