so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize