If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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