so explain again why im purple
no
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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