your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
