Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
