Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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