I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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