My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
