I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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