you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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