You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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