this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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