Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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