Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
