Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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